Author: shanelindsay

  • 5 Casting Switches From Otherwise Awesome Movies

    In TV, it’s called The Other Darrin. See, back when Bewitched first hit the airwaves, the character of mild-mannered husband Darrin was played by a guy named Dick York. When York became sick after a couple seasons (presumably from illness, not from all the fetching nose wiggling), they swapped him out for a guy named Dick Sargent. Bewitched ran another three years, Dick York for another 20, giving him the last laugh.

    Bewitched
    Besides the random replacement of the lead actor, nothing strange ever happened on Bewitched.

    Same character, blatantly different actor. It happens all the time. The internet is a little loose with this definition. They’ll count the fact that there have been four Batmans, or three Jack Ryans, or 403 different James Bonds. But usually those types of movies stand as individual films, with only incidental continuity needed between one film and the next.

    On the other hand, occasionally you get movies that are obviously part of a larger story. When an actor bows out (or dies, or makes too many unreasonable demands), that’s when the craziness really heats up.

    Here are my favorites.

    Crazy Old Wizards

    Harry Potter was originally planned as a 7-book series, and since one of the primary characters is a really old dude, the producers of the first movie had to be holding their breath at the thought of casting 973-year-old Richard Harris in the role of Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore.

    Richard Harris as Professor Dumbledore
    Elizabeth Taylor loved him for the beard.

    Harry Potter and the Sorceror’s Stone went off with out a hitch, was a massive success, and Harris was signed for the sequel, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. It would turn out to be his last film.

    Knowing that they still had at least five more movies to go – more if they could saw a few of them in half – the producers turned to British actor Michael Gambon to replace Harris. Gambon was a high school junior at the time, and they buried him in a mountain of old age make-up and goat fur to disguise the transition. Gambon, who 5 movies later is now 70, should make it through the end of the last Potter film.

    Michael Gambon as Professor Dumbledore
    Elizabeth Taylor loved him for the beard.

    Superhero Sidekicks

    Even though I just said that casting switcheroos in superhero movies don’t really bother me, it’s just weird when the hero remains the same but the people around him are different. It’s happened twice in recent memory.

    Terrence Howard as Jim Rhodes
    My best friend, the Colonel

    Terrence Howard played the long suffering Jim Rhodes character in the period romantic drama Iron Man, which surprisingly grossed $24 billion worldwide, one of the leading indicators that there will be a sequel.

    When it came to film Iron Man 2: Back in the Habit, suddenly there was a falling out. The producers heard that Howard didn’t like them, then Howard said that he did like them, just not in that way, then the producers got snippy and said something mean to one of Howard’s friends, so then he prank called their mothers. Anyway, Howard wasn’t asked back.

    Don Cheadle as Jim Rhodes
    A fun, less scowly Colonel than Terrence Howard

    Fortunately Terrence Howard is black, and so the producers hit upon the ingenious method of casting another black guy, apparently because they think we can’t tell the difference. Don Cheadle was brought on board, and he got to fly around in the Iron Man suit in the sequel rather than just stand by shaking his head, thereby twisting the dagger in Howard’s back just a little more.

    Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes
    "… but, she doesn't look anything like me!"

    Oh, and we all know the girlfriend role doesn’t matter in superhero movies, right? How else can you explain the character of Rachel Dawes, who began life in Batman Begins as the pretty form of Katie Holmes, but suddenly found herself in the sleepy-eyed, husky-voiced persona of Maggie Gyllenhaal for The Dark Knight? Maybe Katie had her hands full just trying to talk Tom down off the couch.

    Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachel Dawes
    "Yes I do."

    The Lambs Are Screaming

    Jodie Foster won an Oscar for her portrayal of FBI super-agent Clarice Starling in the psycho-thriller The Silence of the Lambs, an accomplishment that sounds impressive, until you realize that pretty much every single person associated with Silence of the Lambs won at least one Oscar.

    Jodie Foster as Clarice Starling
    But the ID says "Julianne Moore"

    When it came time for the sequel, Hannibal, Foster took one look at the script and decided that there was too much man-eating pig stuff and not enough Mel-Gibson-talking-to-a-beaver-puppet. She politely declined and went on to further her directing career.

    This left the door open for Julianne Moore, who like Jodie Foster, is a flaming redhead with many Oscars on her mantel. Okay, not really. But she did just fine with her Southern accent. Still, it had to be a little disheartening that for the third Hannibal Lector movie, she was replaced by Edward Norton. Admittedly, he was playing a completely different character, but still.

    Julianne Moore as Clarice Starling
    Eerily, Jodie Foster also starred in the 1976 movie "Freaky Friday," about a girl who switches bodies with Julianne Moore.

    Back to the Casting Couch

    The Back to the Future series has one of the most confusing plots of all time, especially when it comes to the casting.

    The movie initially hired a guy named Eric Stolz to play the part of Marty McFly, and as unbelievable as this is, they shot most of the movie this way. But after viewing dailies in which Stolz seemed to have all the comic timing of Al Gore at a funeral, he was sacked, and teen heartthrob Michael J. Fox was brought in, necessitating a reshoot of virtually everything.

    Melora Hardin, best known today as Jan on The Office, was actually cast as McFly’s girlfriend Jennifer Parker, but at a staggering, Amazonian height of 5’7”, she towered over the diminutive Fox. She was let go in favor of Claudia Wells.

    Claudia Wells as Jennifer Parker
    80s eyebrows are irresistible

    When Back to the Future II rolled around, casting problems popped up again. Cripsin Glover, so excellent as Marty’s dad George McFly in the first movie, apparently demanded his own private country and a flight on the space shuttle. The producers balked and instead hired a look-alike, who would only appear in the background, as well as hanging upside down as “old George” in the scenes set in 2015.

    The bigger problem turned out to be Jennifer Parker, who had a more substantial role in Part II. Claudia Wells was no longer available, due to an illness in the family. The producers searched high and low and finally decided on Adventurous Babysitter and Karate Kid girlfriend Elizabeth Shue.

    Elizabeth Shue as Jennifer Parker
    Hair a little less big. Eyebrows a little less dark.

    In order to sell Shue as the new Jennifer, Part II opens with a shot-for-shot recreation of the ending of Part I, with Shue instead of Wells. It can be fun to watch these two movies back to back, since in Part II, the performances by Fox and Christopher Lloyd (Doc) seem to be parodies of themselves.

    Sexy Logic

    This last switch is my favorite, only because it seems so arbitrary. In Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, the character of Saavik is one of two major new characters that are not part of the original Enterprise crew (the other, of course, is Khan).

    Saavik, played by future Cheers waitress Kirstie Alley, is a Vulcan Starfleet officer in training who finds herself aboard the Enterprise while it is under attack by genetic superhuman Khan. Throughout the movie, she comes to learn from Captain Kirk and even from Mr. Spock himself that Vulcan logic and Starfleet regulations must sometimes take a back seat to outwitting wrathful, bare-chested TV icons with a doomsday weapon built by Kirk’s son.

    Kirstie Alley as Saavik
    Logic says that I shouldn't date Sam Malone.

    Star Trek II kicked off the only real “trilogy” of the Star Trek movies, and Saavik would appear in both Star Trek III The Search for Spock and Star Trek IV The Voyage Home. Kirstie Alley, however, would not.

    Robin Curtis replaced Alley in the Search for Spock, and was again a major character. She spends most of the movie falling in love with Kirk’s son David as they explore the Genesis planet, which has resurrected her fallen mentor, Spock. The truly odd thing about this is that Robin Curtis does not look remotely like Kirstie Alley. Her performance, while appropriately Vulcanish, lacks the inner turmoil at work in Alley’s. Their appearance and performances are so dissimilar that when I saw Star Trek III in my youth, I did not even realize it was the same character.

    Robin Curtis as Saavik
    Loving Claudia Wells's eyebrows

    By Star Trek IV, the Klingons had managed to kill off Kirk’s son, leaving Saavik heartbroken — or, as Robin Curtis plays her, bored.  Saavik makes a token appearance on the planet Vulcan, wishing Kirk and the crew a safe trip back to Earth, and promptly exits the series.

  • The Lost World

    Extraordinary
    Adventure
    82

    Let us be very clear about one thing: This essay has nothing to do with Steven Spielberg. His Jurassic Park sequel, also called The Lost World, shares the title merely as homage, because his movie shares some of the same subject matter as Arthur Conan Doyle’s 1912 novel. Namely, little girl gymnastics.

    Jurassic Park The Lost World
    Also dinosaurs.

    Besides, Jurassic Park The Lost World may be one of the weakest movies in the Spielberg pantheon, a clear case of the director phoning it in (literally. I’ve heard that Spielberg actually directed some segments via video conferencing). Half the time, they aren’t even bothering to create anything new.

    See, there used to be a place called “Jurassic Park” where dinosaurs roamed an island. This island was abandoned at the end of the movie. So in Jurassic Park II, Spielberg introduces the idea of a “Site B,” a sort of backup system for the original Jurassic Park. Seriously, this is their sequel idea. They might as well have had the first movie turn out to be Bob Newhart’s dream.

    Ending of Newhart
    Way funnier than a T-Rex rampage

    It actually does feature a cool action sequence involving an RV, a cliff, a T-Rex, and breaking glass. But then it destroys itself by having Ian Malcolm’s daughter use her parallel bars routine to defeat the velociraptors. Any way, go watch Schindler’s List instead. And don’t feel too sorry for Spielberg. I have a feeling that by the time this list is over, you’re going to be sick of hearing about him.

    Now that we’ve spent several paragraphs emphasizing that this is not about Spielberg, let me tell you what it’s really about. Dinosaurs. The Lost World is about a plateau in the middle of the Amazon basin where dinosaurs still walk the earth. Completely trapped and unable to break free of their humdrum existence, the dinosaurs teach themselves to hunt, build shelters, and spell out messages for passing airplanes. But of course, they must also survive the tribe of ape-men who are warring with another tribe of regular men that also live on the plateau.

    The Lost World Movie Poster
    How did they get him back on such a small bus?

    If this sounds like the plot of last year’s Academy Award winning animated movie Up, it’s only because the guys at Pixar are huge Arthur Conan Doyle fans. Same goes for the makers of King Kong, The Land of the Lost, The Planet of the Apes, even John Carter of Mars. The plot is derivative now, but back when A.C.D. was churning out the pages of his serial novel, this kind of stuff was fresh and new.

    Disney Pixar's Up
    Birds instead of dinos and talking dogs instead of ape-men.

    I won’t bore you with the names of the party of explorers who make their way to the Lost World in order to bring back proof of its existence. Let’s just say that its leader is named Professor Challenger (that should tell you all you need to know). After surviving the dinos and joining the natives and defeating the ape-men, the party escapes via a secret tunnel and goes back to civilization, bringing along a baby pterodactyl, which promptly falls off the Empire State Building flies away.

    Arthur Conan Doyle would resurrect the Professor Challenger character for several more stories, but had a hard time topping this one. Nevertheless, it’s pretty clear that if there were a League of Adventurers, Arthur Conan Doyle would be a charter member. It seems he’s got every aspect covered. Not only did he write tales of expeditions into uncharted jungles, he pretty much invented the modern mystery novel with his Sherlock Holmes stories.

    Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
    "Don't bother me, I'm busy inventing yet another genre."

    He also has the “magic” angle, having been friends with Harry Houdini, whom he was convinced used real magic and not illusions. He was a member of The Ghost Club, investigating paranormal occurrences for legitimacy, and to top it all off, he was himself a knight, so there wasn’t much you could throw in his face.

    Sadly, we do not allow life stories of real people to make the list of Extraordinary Adventures, so we’ll just have to be content with the traditional old lost dinosaur / warring ape-men story. Deal with it.

    Next up, #81.

    The Lost World Triceratops
    Triceratops are the only dinosaurs with a sense of humor.
  • Big Thunder Mountain

    Extraordinary
    Adventure
    84

    “The wildest ride in the wilderness.”  Do not let the highbrow country club tagline fool you.  Big Thunder Mountain delivers adventure in spades.  From an opening ascent through a bat cave to a thrilling avalanche climax, you would be hard pressed to find this kind of action anywhere outside of a John Ford movie.

    Cowboy Batman
    Unless John Ford made a Batman movie, in which case we would explode from happiness.

    For the first time, our series steps outside the boundaries of books, movies, and television and dives into the third dimension.  Real 3-D, not this Avatar stuff.  Big Thunder Mountain is a theme park ride, a take on the old runaway mine-car idea.  Were it not for Miley Cyrus, it would be the Disney Company’s absolute finest creation.

    Imagineer Tony Baxter came up with the concept as a way to re-use some of Disneyland’s props and scenes from the Nature’s Wonderland attraction, which had existed in some form or another almost since Opening Day in 1955 (not to be confused with Tim Burton’s Nature’s Wonderland, which stars Johnny Depp as a dark, weird miner).

    Nature's Wonderland
    And Helena Bonham Carter as the shrieky elk.

    Various pack mules, stagecoaches, and leisurely railcars departed Frontierland daily through a recreation of the Old West, past animatronic bobcats, rigged waterfalls, and happy stereotypes of indigenous American races.  In a way, not much has changed, but it was Baxter that added a crucial story element:  Dangerous Adventure.  We are also very lucky that he ditched his first idea, which was runaway pack mules.

    Gus
    Not to be confused with Disney's other finest creation.

    Big Thunder’s secret, like all great theme park stories, lies in its simplicity.  There is no back-story that needs illuminating.  No preshow to set the stage.  No complex hero, no nefarious villain (unless you count whatever cursed Indian grave the Big Thunder Mining Company disturbed).  It is simply a roaring, rumbling trip through iconic Western imagery, clinging for your life to a mine train that has all the self-control of Lindsay Lohan at a wine tasting.

    The number of dangers we encounter is staggering.  Before the train has even crested its first hill, we’ve already journeyed through a horde of bats, witnessed ethereal underground tidal pools, and basked in the spray of torrential mountain runoff.  Then Big Thunder really gets going.

    River Tressel
    But won't all these banked curves spill the ore?

    There are four versions around the globe, one each in Disneyland, Walt Disney World, Disneyland Paris, and Tokyo Disneyland.  Some variations do apply, but the experience is the same.  All of the rides feature hairpin curves and exciting dips and drops through “natural” rock arches.  Each one has a blistering near-collision with the sun-bleached bones of an exposed dinosaur fossil while geysers rocket all around us.  All of them end in a crumbling mineshaft, the track ahead obliterated, the massive boulders coming loose above us.  Big Thunder indeed.  That we somehow manage to escape isn’t all that surprising, considering this is Disney.  Then again, this is also the same company that sent us to hell at the end of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.

    Mr. Toad's Wild Ride
    Seriously. Go ride it.

    While riding, and even while waiting in line, one thing really stands out:  How stinky all the other tourists are.  But also the attention to detail.  Disney Imagineers gathered real mining equipment and props from flea markets and ghost towns throughout the United States to dress Big Thunder’s sets.   It lends a sense of authenticity to help combat that nagging question about why anyone is mining for gold in the middle of a Florida swamp or the Parisian countryside.

    While ostensibly a rollercoaster, at no time is the illusion ever broken that this is a real mine train.  The tubular steel tracks hug every bend and valley in the faux mountain, making one wonder if the Big Thunder Mining Company ever heard of dynamite.  The artistry of the mountain itself is breathtaking, requiring expert sculptors and practiced painters to transform a lump of chicken wire and concrete into a butte straight out of Monument Valley.  Elizabeth Taylor’s plastic surgeons could learn a thing or two.

    Big Thunder Mountain
    Elizabeth Taylor's forehead. Also Utah.

    The animatronics here, while not as advanced as some of Disney’s famous shows like the Enchanted Tiki Room or the Hall of Presidents, are perfectly serviceable, especially considering that they have to remain outdoors, exposed to the elements.  Anyway, it’s not like you have a lot of time to critique them when you’re careening past at 30mph.

    Animatronic Bobcat
    Mountain Lion voices provided by Matthew Broderick and James Earl Jones.

    Did I say thirty?  It feels like ninety.  Big Thunder is thrill ride for the entire family, an extra shot of adrenaline in the middle of your day with Mickey.  But make no mistake about it, this is an adventure story first and foremost, and one every bit as worthy as the other titles on this list.  It’s just probably the only one to require you to hang on to your hats and glasses.

    Next up, #83!