Author: tristanlindsay

Let’s take just a minute here to talk about Brendan Fraser. He really is quite the anomaly among Hollywood actors. He seems, in certain movies, to possess a degree of movie star swagger and bravado, yet his true persona seems to be somewhere on the level of Encino Man. He seems to be able to swing jauntily from Gods and Monsters, which is a highbrow hard-hitting drama about the director of Frankenstein, while simultaneously he also seems to be very good at being George of the Jungle. In his best movie, The Mummy, he actually hits every note almost perfectly. The rumor is that the role of Rick O’Connel was offered to Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck. I feel confident in saying that none of those actors could have pulled off the challenges presented in The Mummy.

You see, I believe that there are lines in The Mummy that would be impossible for any other Hollywood actor to say, but Fraser pulls them off with the aforementioned grace and aplomb. That is to say that because of Brendan Fraser, you will be hard pressed to catch where the screenplay is bad. The same can also be said of Rachel Weisz, who has her breakout role here, and (wisely) did not go on to reprise her role in Mummy 3. Arnold Vosloo as the mummy himself is also good, but it’s Fraser that holds everything together. It is a performance so sincere that it circles back around sincere and becomes tongue in cheek again.

It was written and directed by Stephen Sommers who to the best of my knowledge has not come close the balance between camp and adventure that resides here. Though G.I. Joe is not half bad, it still is not exactly good either. The Mummy universe is one where there is a canopy under every open window. This is extremely efficient because the filmmakers do not have to go on establishing why it is safe for the heroes to jump out of open windows. Or dive off of burning riverboats. Or fly into a blizzard of sand that was breathed out of an undead Egyptian criminal from 4000 years ago. All of these elements were Sommers’ ideas so it’s hard to fault him because they are all pretty good. You know, for some one who’s previous movie was Deep Rising.

Next up … 74!

Near the end of The Maltese Falcon there is a famous line spoken by Humphrey Bogart. Throughout the movie everyone had been on the hunt for something called The Maltese Falcon (not to be confused with the somewhat more exciting Millenium Falcon), no the Maltese falcon was (disappointingly) just a sculpture of a bronze falcon from the island of Malta. This of course was not enough for some of the characters and possibly the screenwriters and the studio execs either, so they had somebody ask Bogart’s character this question: What exactly IS the Maltese Falcon? Well after chasing it for the entire movie, Bogart had no choice but to reply, in his best Peter Brady impression, “The stuff that dreams are made of.”

This quote, being one of the most famous lines in movie history, has evolved over the years to refer to the movies themselves. Q. What are movies? A. The stuff dreams are made of. Well, those days have come and gone and very few movies actually try and reach a dreamlike state. Some of them have and are on this very list. But one of the most dreamlike of all the movies on our list is a little flick called Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. I do not mean to imply that it is bizarre and inscrutable as so many dreams are, but merely the fluidity and calm relaxation of the story lends itself to certain dreamlike images, not the least of which is the fact that the characters in Crouching Tiger can fly.

The characters in Crouching Tiger are aware that the other martial artists can fly and there is a wonderful bit of choreography whereby Shu Lien played by Michelle Yeoh has to keep stepping on Ziyi Zhang’s feet to literally keep her on the ground. Speaking of fight choreography, it was planned out by one of the best; Yuen Wo Ping, who also did the fight sequence for The Matrix. As well as Fist of Legend and some other classic Chinese movies, I suppose. However at the risk of insulting the fanboys, may I submit that his work here in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon is his best? You do have to display a little fanboy patience however before the first fight even begins, but once it does, it goes on for a nice long while. Characters start hopping over roofs and climbing walls to a fabulous score by Oscar winner Tan Dun.

Another scene takes place among blowing bamboo trees (technically bamboo is a grass not a tree, but it matters not as Chow Yun Fat can balance perfectly on both). Another fight scene showcases pretty much every martial arts weapon there is, each weapon being eventually broken or destroyed by a magical ancient sword called The Green Destiny which everyone in the movie is after (an idea stolen from an earlier movie called The Maltese Falcon, perhaps you’ve heard of it).

Hidden Dragon was directed by a guy named Ang Lee who also directed Sense and Sensibility which, while better, is sadly lacking in kung fu … and therefore loses points on the adventurometer. He also made Hulk about a big green monster guy in purple pants who is repressed, but the less said about that the better. At first you may seem impressed that Ang Lee does such wildly different films until you realize that they are ALL about repression. Nobody wants to say who they truly are or how they truly feel about the other characters and there are a few surprises a long the way. Do not be put off by this, however because despite the oscar-baiting theme of repression the film both figuratively and literally soars to new heights and depending on your acceptance of fairy stories from the desert, it has either or hopeful or a tragic ending.

Plus it was made for only 17 million dollars in 2000 which is a staggeringly low budget for any movie let alone an action movie.

Next up … 76!

In the grand tradition of almost all good adventure literature coming from Britain let me introduce to you a man by the name of Cecil Scott Forester. Called C.S. by his audience. His real name was Cecil Louis Troughton Smith. C.S. Forester was the author of several novels, but perhaps his most famous and most influential book is actually a series of books about a character with the unfortunate name of Horatio Hornblower.

The novels span many years of Horatio’s life and his many adventures and it is here that I must confess that I have not read the novels, though I do suspect they’re very good as they are often cited as influences or recommendations by other famous authors. For instance, Hemingway (Ernest not Muriel) once said “I recommend Forester to everyone literate I know.” Which is a clumsy way of putting it, but who am I to rewrite Hemingway? And Winston Churchill was also quoted as saying “I would rank Horatio Hornblower at or around 80 on a list of the greatest adventure stories in any genre.” Which is a tad made up, but true to the spirit of Churchill and so I will allow it.

My experience with Captain Hornblower comes from a Television series that aired in the early 90s on A&E. It stars an actor whose first name is Ioan (pronounced rather reasonably as yo-un) and whose last name is Gruffudd (which is inexplicably prounounced like Griffith). It is needless to say very good. Although a tad on the episodic side, the films are overflowing with the little touches that make Horatio’s world believable.

It begins with Horatio coming onboard as a midshipman and promptly getting seasick. He’s a quiet lad who keeps to himself, but is devoted to duty and honor. Soon the Napoleanic wars have started and Hornblower shows himself to be both brave and intelligent. He can’t really help but be promoted even though he actually tries not to be. This of course does not sit well with the officers who have more seniority than him and are being left behind. Horatio is only 17 and is still a little wet behind the ears and so does not instantly triumph, but instead has to deal with enemies both foreign and domestic.

Again the best parts are the attention to detail. In the way the ladder is built into the ship itself. The code of battle.  The honor of a duel. And of course there is the great sailor talk: belay, focsle, main top gallant, larboard, starboard, and groovy.  C.S. Forester was not a one hit wonder either. He’ll pop up on our list again. Though I’ll let you wait and see when and where. The Hornblower series is available on Netflix or Amazon or Itunes, but one word of warning, A&E never completed the series so eventually you’ll have to take Hemingway’s advice and actually read some Forester for yourself. That is, if you want to know how everything turned out.

Next up … 78!